Santa cancels Brampton Parade, may cancel toy delivery

The organizers of the Brampton Santa Claus Parade are devastated after receiving a call from Santa to cancel his appearance at this year’s parade on Main St in Downtown Brampton. Santa said that he received a letter from Dr. Lawrence Loh, the Medical Officer of Health for Peel Region asking him and his elves to stay in the North Pole this year.

Santa is considered to be in the very high risk category for severe illness if he contracts COVID-19. He says he is not getting any younger and is taking all of the necessary precautions, including wearing a mask, washing his hands, and staying away from all of the elves and Mrs. Claus. He has stayed away from cookies and late night snacks for many years and still keeps putting on extra pounds. There is no testing centre in the North Pole and all precautions are being taken to keep outsiders away. However, due to climate change, it is getting easier and easier for satellite imagery to detect the manufacturing activity below the thinning ice and snow. The elves are very concerned about an increase in Google searches for “Where does Santa live?”

Mayor Patrick Brown is reportedly working with Premier Ford to ensure that the toys being stockpiled this year can be delivered in time for Christmas. Reports suggest that toys are already being moved to a remote warehouse in Moosonee and that both the Mayor and Premier are spending time with Rudolph in flight training. Toronto, Peel Region and Ottawa are at the bottom of the list for deliveries. Increasing infection rates in these areas could result in the complete cancellation of all toy deliveries. Caroling, joy and world peace may also be in jeopardy should young people in these areas continue to meet and frolic in the dark to rev their engines for no apparent purpose.

Santa has a proud 25 year history of visiting Brampton each November for Canada’s only night time parade. A virtual parade is planned on November 21st at 5pm. Organizers said that “Santa wants all the boys and girls to know that Canada Post is helping him out with his mail.” Letters to Santa can be sent without postage to: 

Santa Claus
North Pole

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